


My beloved is mine, and I am his.

by Say_It_In_Enochian



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Coming Out, Destiel - Freeform, First Kiss, Fix-It, Fluff, Heaven, Homophobia, M/M, Sweet Castiel/Dean Winchester, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-12 05:00:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29379594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Say_It_In_Enochian/pseuds/Say_It_In_Enochian
Summary: Dean and Cas meet for the first time since the declaration. They have both had time to think.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 3
Kudos: 102





	My beloved is mine, and I am his.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't write but Cas and Dean deserve better than what the idjit writers gave them FFS so I took to the keyboard for this. It starts when they're alone, face to face for the first time in heaven (not sure what led up to that - I didn't go there).
> 
> Safeword mentioned because Misha ships it. Verses are from Song of Solomon because they're hot and sweet like Cas. 
> 
> Mood music for the end: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKXN88tjeMY  
> Again, not a writer. Don't be too harsh. Hope you enjoy it for what it's worth.

Dean was shaking.

His hands and even the quiver in his breath and lips betrayed him as he found himself finally HERE. This moment he had prayed for since the day Cas was taken by The Empty. 

The world around them was at peace. Birds singing in the distance, a soft warm breeze blowing the scent of pines down from the mountain, the sound of a gentle stream nearby. It was perfect. The world was at peace but not Dean. Dean was damn near terrified.

Dean felt like he couldn’t move. He was rooted in place. Cas, only a few steps away, held him there with his eyes. Those eyes. He had missed those eyes, longed for them...and now they were boring into him with a look of tenderness, questioning and a bit of uncertainty. 

For his own part, Cas was unsure what to do. This was the first time he stood face to face with Dean in heaven. Though he would never take it back, he was not entirely sure the declaration he had made to Dean at their last meeting was entirely welcome. 

Cas could see the subtle shudders in Dean’s body and stepped across the divide, reaching to place a hand on Dean’s shoulder. “Dean,.....Dean are you okay?”

Dean gabbed tight to Cas’s arm as he leaned in pulling the angel closer, closing his eyes and resting his forehead on Cas’s. 

"Breathe you idiot," Dean thought to himself, "Shit..you’re acting like a scared little boy with a crush." But he couldn’t help the shaking, as a tear traced down his cheek. What the hell was he feeling? Was it fear? Joy? No not joy, not yet. Here was Cas….. Castiel. A Seraph for freak's sake! A warrior of heaven. More than a warrior, a badass general. He was a celestial wave of …..what was it he had called it? Thick dark wavy bed-head...messy, beautiful like a storm. Eyes...blue, like a sea of Creation. Of all the things Dean had seen in his life there was nothing more awe-inspiring than what stood before him now. Familiar, yet still awe-inspiring. Seeing Cas was on the one hand like finally being "home,"....."safe." Cas was alive and there was no one he needed more. Yet at the same time he felt the opposite of safe. Dean was literally shaking with so many emotions including a fear so strong he could taste the bitterness in his mouth. Here in heaven, Cas was back at full power and in his element, what could Dean possibly have to offer him now? What if Cas was over it?

“Dean” Castiel spoke softly, bringing his other hand to hold Dean’s cheek."What’s wrong.”

“I need to know if you still mean it.” Dean blurted out before he could stop himself, “What you said...when you left me..”

Cas smiled understanding “Dean, yes.” he spoke, gently tilting Dean's head up until he opened his eyes again, centering in on Castiel’s. “I ..love..you.” Castiel said slowly for emphasis. “I have for...well..for a long time in your years now. But you don’t have to worry if that’s not what you want. I have always been your friend and will always be your friend. It’s okay.”

“No Cas...I...that’s just it. It’s not okay...I DO want it...want you” Dean pulled away to stand and face Castiel but as he did his hands began to shake again. “But I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. Or how to do it.” 

“You mean...be with me like this? In this vessel?”

“No...well yes..sort of.” It wasn’t entirely what Dean meant but there WAS that. 

Cas stepped away for a moment then looked back at Dean thoughtfully. His next words to Dean nearly swept Dean’s legs out from under him. 

“Would it help if I had a different vessel?” 

Dean understood what Cas left unsaid...the unspoken part…. “a female vessel.” Dean knew that angels could change vessels, and his angel was offering to do this just for Dean. The gravity of what Cas had just offered took a moment to sink in. 

Dean liked women, enjoyed the hell out of them. Had even truly loved a few. There was no denying he found women pleasing. But that wasn’t it. Cas was different. His Cas. The one he had come to know. Since Cas’s confession Dean had run it through his mind so many times trying to figure out when it was he first realized he had feelings for Cas too. And not just emotional...physical feelings...physical desire. When was the first time he tried to bury it? There had been so many moments over the years when Dean felt an overwhelming need to grip Cas tight and…well...Dean usually would quash the thought by gripping the closest beer or woman at the bar and go off with her leaving Cas and Sam behind with a wink. But more than once on those occasions with a woman he imagined another’s lips on his mouth...another’s hands on his skin. 

Those kinds of thoughts weren't usually welcome in the circles he ran in. Some minds had been changing, sure, and the people he loved most wouldn’t care, hell would even be over- the- moon- happy for them, but the fear of crossing that threshold in the moment had always done him in. And then there was the other issue. He never really knew if the spark he sensed from Cas when they were together was something that the angel felt as well. Until that day, and then it was too late. 

“God no Cas!” Dean laughed suddenly coming back to the moment and the question Cas had posed. "First of all if you learned anything from all those chick flicks you watched on our couch when you thought Sammy and I didn’t notice you should have learned that you should NEVER change yourself just to please some guy!” Dean found himself smirking despite his emotion.

Cas let out a small relieved laugh. He had thought before, long before he had given himself to The Empty, that maybe Dean would be able to love him the way he loved Dean, if he came to him in the form of a woman. But Castiel knew that wouldn’t be right either. That wasn’t who he truly was. Angels might not have human bodies but they each had an essence. A sense that caused them to greet each member of their huge dysfunctional family as “Brother” or “Sister.” Castiel’s vessel was suited to him. In fact, now that Jimmy Novak was in heaven this separate vessel had been specially made for him, it was in fact part of him and he was part of it. He wanted to love Dean as he knew him, as he had come to know him, and he hoped that that would be enough for Dean. Hearing Dean now say it....seeing Dean look back at him with a look of love and acceptance, was more than he ever thought possible.

Cas looked down for a moment, blinking back a tear of relief and smiled in thought. Looking back to Dean he said “I would imagine we aren’t the first two people who don’t know what the hell we are doing….And I would imagine we will figure it out and do just fine.” Cas tilted his head in that Cas way, his eyes held a glint of amused mischief as he smiled, “besides, I’ve had some time to think about it while I’ve been waiting for you.”

Dean, was now simultaneously totally relieved and totally aroused at the thought that Cas had been thinking about him in that way. Truth be told he had had plenty of thoughts of his own about taking this angel to a different kind of heaven and exactly how he would do it. Emboldened, he took a step closer, his hand resting behind Castiel’s neck, gently weaving his fingers into the dark soft tresses there. 

Castiel’s breath caught at the sensation. It was the first moment he was certain that Dean reached out to touch him in a way that was anything other than “brotherly.” Now it was Cas’s turn to tremble as his hunter gently pulled him closer, placing his other arm around him, his hand gently resting on the sensitive space between his folded wings. Cas moved a hand to Dean’s face, the other gently feeling through Dean’s hair as Dean, eyes closed, urged them closer.

Dean’s lips first touched Cas’s in a chaste kiss, and then returned for a second more lingering one...Cas’s lips, soft and full, opened slightly in an invitation that Dean accepted, his tongue gently, lovingly seeking Castiel’s until Castiel deepened and opened to him fully. In that moment Dean was lost. Castiel’s hands moved more rapidly now, searching, testing, enjoying the feel of Dean’s body, relishing the sensations of muscle and bone beneath his fingers. Dean’s hands moved to pull at Cas’s shirt, needing to feel Cas’s skin. As their breath quickened, hearts beating beyond measure Cas stopped and pulled away to look at Dean, breathless, a smile on his lips, his eyes filled with longing.

“I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me.”

“What was that Angel?” Dean asked smiling.

“It’s from scripture,” Cas breathed. “Not all of scripture is hellfire and damnation Dean. There are ancient poems of love. Human love. I started reading some of it again years ago when I was trying to understand what I felt for you.”

“And did it help?” Dean asked surprised and amused.

“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for your love is more delightful than wine.” Cas replied playfully leaning in close again, lips brushing Dean’s as he spoke.

“Are you trying to romance me with love poems Cas?” Dean smirked.

“With poems, with my hands” Cas said moving his hands again to gently hold Dean’s face and hair, “with my lips,” he whispered along Dean’s throat as he tilted Dean’s head back, “with my mind..” Cas’s lips grazed higher coming to rest near Dean’s ear. “with my body….with my soul.” Castiel teased Dean’s earlobe gently with his teeth. The sensation was almost enough to make Dean explode right then and there. “My beloved is mine and I am his.” Castiel whispered softly, feeling Dean melt into him...so close that Cas could feel the urgency that rose in Dean. 

"Yes." Dean whispered back, nuzzling into Castiel's neck. "I'm yours Cas."

After a moment, his lids heavy and voice husky with desire, Dean whispered "We need a place where I can make you mine, Angel.” The smell of Cas's skin, the feel of his body against his, my god Dean thought, he was perfect.

Cas was certain now that Dean could feel him too. His human body betraying his desire as they clung to each other. Castiel wasn’t sure exactly why Dean started calling him “Angel.” but he liked it...a lot.

“Jack and I made a home for you.” Cas said. "Let me take you there."

"Just for me?” Dean looked disappointed. 

“For you...which means if you choose it, if you want it, I…” Cas stopped, not wanting to overstep.

Dean cut him off, holding Castiel's gaze with his own. "I want to be with you Cas. Always. We’ve wasted enough damn time. It won’t be home if it's not with you. I never said it, but I need you to hear it. I love you Cas. I’ve loved you longer than you know. Longer than I let myself admit it. When I wake up in the morning it's your face I want to see. When I lay down at night, I want it to be with you next to me. That's "heaven" for me Cas." Dean hesitated, "I should have told you long ago, but I was afraid.”

Cas's eyes shone for a moment with the light of his grace at Dean's words. "Never be afraid with me Dean," He said softly. Castiel's heart quickened as he leaned in to kiss Dean again, hungry for the taste of Dean's lips. 

“Our home then." Cas agreed after a moment. "Let’s go. We’ll drive...fast” he teased. 

As they reached Baby, Cas stopped, turning to Dean with a look of realization on his face. “‘We’ll need a safe word."

“CAS! What exactly do you plan on doing to me!” Dean looked both shocked and amused.

Cas tilted his head for a moment until it dawned on him what Dean was thinking. “No Dean, not like that.” He smiled mischievously. "I have given this a lot of thought. I’m a Seraph. I would never hurt you on purpose, but as you said - this is new to both of us.”

“Well, you were with April.”

With a lopsided smile Cas reminded Dean,“Firstly, April was a woman. Secondly, I was fully human at the time. Thirdly and most importantly I wasn’t in love with April, and the desire I felt in that brief moment of need for her, is nothing compared to my desire, and love for you Dean Winchester.” This last he said placing his hand on Dean’s cheek again and brushing his lips with his thumb. “I want to be sure I don’t accidentally do something that hurts you."

“Impala” Dean said without skipping a beat and grabbing the car door. 

Cas laughed and grabbed the door. “You know I have more poetry for you.” he said.

“Oh yeah?” Dean smirked. 

Cas grinned, snapped his fingers and a familiar hard driving guitar riff blasted from the stereo. 

Dean’s eyes went wide. “Dude I am so freaking turned on right now!” he told Cas as in the background Robert Plant belted out “You need Cooooolin! Baby I’m not Foooolin!.......”

“Now that’s poetry, babe!”


End file.
